SIX SIMPLE WAYS TO AVOID MINOR QUARRELS IN MARRIAGES

 

Quarreling in marriage is a normal part of marriage when it involves two people from different backgrounds come to live together as husband and wife. Living with another person inevitably leads to differences in opinion, misunderstandings and sometimes hurt feelings.

There is a difference between healthy or productive quarrel, mean-spirited fighting that leads to more misunderstanding and negativity. People often don’t fight fairly because they don’t understand what they are really fighting about. Feelings of rejection or hurt are sometimes diverted.

Being aware of what it is that you are truly upset about can help you avoid fussing about issues that don’t really matter. The following tips will provide some additional tools to help you keep quarrels at least to a healthy minimum in your relationship.


Be aware of the mood of your spouse


Some women become moody, irritable or emotional during certain periods in of their life especially during their menstrual cycle, pregnancy and when overstressed. Men also have times when they are less than rational. Some men become extra cranky if they haven’t eaten, haven’t had sex in a while or are experiencing stress at work. Try to avoid discussing sensitive issues at these times. And if your spouse tells you that you are not acting like yourself, instead of becoming offended, consider that he or she might be right at that particular point in time.Know when to surrender

There really aren’t that many issues worth fighting over. Choose your battles wisely. Think back to your last fight, does it really still seem as urgent and compelling to you? Do you even remember it? If you don’t have to concede your values or your dignity, surrendering can bring much peace of mind for the both of you. If you know that something is very important to your spouse but doesn’t matter as much to you, give in graciously. It will show him or her that their happiness is important to you.Try to express vulnerability and hurt instead of anger

Anger is a secondary emotion that usually stems from some other emotion such as hurt, embarrassment or disappointment. Your spouse is more likely to respond with empathy and understanding when you tell them why you are feeling angry instead of being moody and refusing to say exactly what the matter is which I know most ladies including myself usually does Lol. He or she would much rather try to see your side of things when you are hurt and vulnerable than when you are accusing and yelling out at him.Honestly consider your spouse’s point

Often in a quarrel both partners are so concerned with being right rather than truly listening, they are simply waiting for the other person to stop talking in order to jump in with their own counterpoint. This leads to frustration on both sides and often results in insults or accusations. Try to stop yourself from responding to your spouse immediately and instead consider what he or she has said. Your spouse may have a very wise solution that you might miss if you are too focused on preparing your next point.Keep a sense of perspective and humor

Don’t take yourself too seriously. We often put too much emotional investment into quarrel most times that are really very unimportant. The fact that your husband leaves his dirty socks all over the floor or that your wife complains about your mother might indeed be irritating, but it is not worth ruining your marriage. If you can recognize that you are probably reenacting the same fights that couples have been having since time immemorial, you will be more likely to be able to laugh at yourselves and get over it.Don’t talk back at him when you are angry.In a situation where you and your husband are arguing or quarreling over an issue, I will advise you the wife to keep quiet at that moment to avoid saying unnecessary words to him, I know it can be difficult and we all tend to get provoked easily but sure we can always work on our temperament.Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing ordained by God we need not quarrel and fight over unnecessary things.Did I miss any point? Kindly use the comment box.

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60 Comments

  • Reply
    Christina Lau
    August 18, 2016 at 11:22 am

    Definitely great tips to keep in mind! I love your detailed explanations. I think these apply to almost any relationship, married or not. Nice post!

    Best,
    Christina

    Looks by Lau

  • Reply
    Aliya Love
    August 18, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    Great advice love! They are all so true! My most successful tactic is to take it to God first by asking Him to reveal truth in the situation. A lot of times this shows me my own faults to correct before pointing the finger at my husband. Men are typically more receptive when we first start the conversation by owning up to our part in the mess, then talking about what we both can do differently in the future to avoid it from happening again. 🙂

    XOXO, Aliya
    http://www.aliyapatrice.com

  • Reply
    Missy May
    August 18, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    I'm not married yet, but I will definitely keep this in mind. Will come in handy when I do get married by the grace of God. Thanks for sharing, Tessy.

    http://missymayification.blogspot.co.uk

  • Reply
    Sora Hwang
    August 19, 2016 at 1:40 am

    I'm nowhere near being married yet, but these are definitely great tips for any relationship! Communication really is key.

    Via Sora || $100 Anthropologie Gift Card Giveaway
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  • Reply
    Leah Behr
    August 19, 2016 at 2:46 am

    Great advice, and something I could definitely be better at! LOL

    xx Leah / http://www.eatpraywearlove.com

  • Reply
    Sisters and Glitters
    August 19, 2016 at 4:17 am

    Will definitely remember that! xo, Sophia from http://www.sistersandglitters.com

  • Reply
    Chanel From Je M'appelle
    August 19, 2016 at 4:17 am

    Thanks for sharing! I'm not married but this will definitely help!

    xo
    Chanel | Je M'appelle Chanel

  • Reply
    SONCAR
    August 19, 2016 at 4:18 am

    I think these apply to almost any relationship, married or not. Nice post!

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  • Reply
    Brooke
    August 19, 2016 at 4:18 am

    This is great advice! I definitely agree with your point about not talking back when you are angry. I have definitely said things out of anger that I should not have. Thanks for all of the tips.
    -Brooke | http://www.beautydecorandmore.com

  • Reply
    favour moyse
    August 19, 2016 at 6:53 am

    Me too

    FAVOURMOYSE BLOG  

  • Reply
    Emma Loves Fashion
    August 19, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Loving this post,
    Emma
    http://www.emmalovesfashion.com

  • Reply
    Paola Lauretano
    August 19, 2016 at 11:26 am

    I love this post and your tips are always interesting darling!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

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  • Reply
    Marta
    August 19, 2016 at 11:26 am

    Great advice!
    xx
    https://la-veine.blogspot.pt/

  • Reply
    TinyTiff
    August 19, 2016 at 12:51 pm

    Great post! I love the surrender part but all the tips are so true! Thank you for sharing! Blessings to you

    Tiff
    http://www.dashoffashandfinance.com

  • Reply
    Aida Perkumaitė
    August 19, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    Loving this post!

    xx
    Aida
    http://www.espritdemode.blogspot.com

  • Reply
    Style For Mankind
    August 19, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Amazing post! Have a great weekend. 🙂

    STYLEFORMANKIND.COM
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  • Reply
    Straight A Style
    August 19, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Quarrels are definitely natural in marriage, but these are great tips to avoid unnecessary ones and walk in respect for your spouse when they do come up.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

  • Reply
    Bubu Green
    August 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Great post, Tess. My motto is "Never speak when angry. The argument will pass anyway but the hurt from what's been said will forever remain". http://www.bubusboulevard.com

  • Reply
    Jacquard Flower
    August 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Great post, thanks for the tips! Gemma x
    http://www.jacquardflower.uk

  • Reply
    Miss LovelyAttitude
    August 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    great tips, so right with all of them 🙂
    http://www.youtube.com/c/MissLovelyAttitude
    http://lovelyattitude.com

  • Reply
    Jalisa G
    August 20, 2016 at 5:47 am

    This is such a great post, filled with lots of great points and wisdom that everyone can take away from, whether living with a spouse, room-mate, or parents. My husband and I have our fair share of disagreements and we've both grown and matured in the way we approach various situations. One very important thing is trying to remember that we're all a work in process and identifying our own shortcomings that can sometimes make things worse. I had a really bad habit of talking back out of anger and I would say mean and hurtful things and words are like scars, you just can't take them back, they penetrate. Now, I just stay quite, go into a different room and calm myself down. Thanks so much for sharing, beauty, and I hope you have a great weekend ahead!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

  • Reply
    Taylor
    August 20, 2016 at 5:47 am

    Great post!
    Thanks for sharing!
    xo.
    http://www.itswhatsin.com

  • Reply
    Carina Vardie
    August 20, 2016 at 5:47 am

    Amazing tips that apply or should for all serious relationships. Thanks for sharing!

    xo
    http://www.carinavardie.com

  • Reply
    cielofronteras
    August 20, 2016 at 5:48 am

    Great tips and indeed very helpful. Thanks for sharing =)

    – Cielo
    Mermaid in Heels

  • Reply
    Courtney Lang
    August 20, 2016 at 5:48 am

    These are such great ideas! Keeping humor a part of the relationship is so important!

    http://thecourtneydiaries.com

  • Reply
    Airish
    August 20, 2016 at 8:37 am

    These are such wonderful tips, especially for those who are currently and are planning to get married already. 🙂 Hope to hear from you soon! x

    Love, Airish
    Gorgeous Glance
    http://www.airishabella.blogspot.com

  • Reply
    Francesca | francescasophia.co.uk
    August 20, 2016 at 11:59 am

    This is such an engaging post; I definitely find your point about expressing vulnerability more than anger helpful, I have such a firey temper!
    francesca | francescasophia.co.uk xx

  • Reply
    LBG
    August 20, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Great points and post! Knowing your spouses moods is so important and knowing what's worth bringing up is important too

    http://Leftbankgirl.blogspot.com

  • Reply
    That New Dress
    August 20, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    Such a great tips! Fab post hunny xx

    http://www.thatnewdress.com

  • Reply
    Nora Gouma
    August 21, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Great post, absolutely great tips as well, truly useful, thanks for sharing!!!

    xxx

    http://www.bridesonamission.com

  • Reply
    Gil Zetbase
    August 21, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Wonderful post!
    Have a nice week-end!
    Gil Zetbase
    http://gilzetbase.com/

  • Reply
    Call Me Amy
    August 21, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    I think it's so important to not speak back when you're angry – things said at each other in anger are never good!
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  • Reply
    Eleine Pereira
    August 21, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    Great post dear!

    http://iameleine.blogspot.com/

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    Thanks babe's.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:40 pm

    Well said, thanks.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    Thanks sweetie.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Thanks dearie.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Thanks a lot dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Thanks dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Thanks dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Thank you.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Thank you dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    Thanks dearie.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    Thanks dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Thanks dearie.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Thanks dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Thanks Aida.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    Thanks babe

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Thank you sweet.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    Thanks Bubu love

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Thanks dear.

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    August 21, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    Thanks dearie.

  • Reply
    Len Parent
    August 21, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    Great post! Thanks for sharing!
    Much love, Len
    http://www.lenparent.com

  • Reply
    Carmen Cotugno
    August 22, 2016 at 2:11 am

    great tips dear
    kiss
    http://www.carmy1978.com

  • Reply
    Camila A.
    August 22, 2016 at 3:59 am

    This is super important to know, there are not many couple who can not fight. These tips will help so many marriages, lovely post!

    My Vogue Style | http://www.myvoguestyle.com

  • Reply
    Erika Seol
    August 22, 2016 at 4:35 am

    Wonderful tips dear and Thanks for sharing! Btw, I’m inviting you to join my giveaway, you can win Japan Candy box ^^

    Love xx
    Official Seol ♥ || GIVEAWAY

  • Reply
    Gil Zetbase
    August 22, 2016 at 4:45 am

    Great article!
    Have a nice week-end!
    Gil Zetbase
    http://gilzetbase.com/

  • Reply
    Candace Hampton
    August 22, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Great marriage tips! I'm sure these will be useful to many couples out there 🙂

    http://www.thebeautybeau.com

  • Reply
    Nwamaka Ajaegbu
    August 23, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    Awesome points. I like the advice of keeping a perspective if humour. Thanks ma'm!

    amakamedia.com 

  • Reply
    Gil Zetbase
    September 11, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Wonderful post!
    Have a nice week-end!
    Gil Zetbase
    http://gilzetbase.com/

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