When I said “I do” many years ago to my one and only sweetheart, I’m not sure I fully understood what those two words really meant because I was really young I must say , but as the years have gone by, I have learned a lot about myself and what really makes a relationship work and to the glory of God its been a very wonderful journey so far and guess what?

Yipeee!!! in two days time, we will be celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary… 
No be God??? He is a faithful God indeed…So back to the matter…

My husband and I are about as different as a couple can get. But rather than being irritated by our differences, we revel in them. In all of our years together 6years and counting, we have learned to embrace the differences between our personalities, and we now see them as one of our greatest strengths as a couple.

What we have learned along the way is that there are a few key ingredients in making a marriage work. And when you really think about it, these ingredients are essential to making any relationship in life work. Because after all, a marriage is a relationship; and if we don’t understand the foundation of a relationship, we will never get to the other good stuff!

Part of learning how to really get along with another person can be found in the 4 Cs, which are an integral part of any relationship. So often, when these key ingredients are not being practised, problems quickly bubble to the surface and then becomes an issues that are difficult to manage.

So what are the 4 Cs?


In its simplest form, commitment is sticking by another person during the good and the bad times and recognising that challenges are opportunities to strengthen the commitment, instead of reasons to quit.


Communication either makes or breaks most relationships. Learning how to really communicate with your partner requires both of you to not only stop and listen, but to also really hear what the other person is saying. Once you are both in a position to hear each other, focusing on the present and staying in the moment, will allow you to be open and honest with each other in a safe and caring way.


Compromise doesn’t mean forgoing what you believe in or truly fee, it means that in a relationship, just like in life, you often have to balance out your own needs and wants with those of others. A healthy relationship should affirm who each partner is and allow each person to meet his or her needs together.

Choose (your battles)

It took having children before I truly understood what this C really meant. Once you figure out the true nature of choosing your battles (or being selective in what you stand your ground on), implementing this C in your marriage or relationship will encourage you to look at decisions in a much different light.

Have you ever met any of your online friends in real life? and what was your reaction? I would love to read your comments on the comment section below.

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Lots of love 

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  • Reply
    Precious Nkeih
    July 17, 2016 at 11:46 am

    These four Cs are so on point. Commitment is very important. Love alone is not enough. You could love someone without been committed to the person.

    Marriage is all about compromise. Some things just have to change. Becoming one sometimes means letting go of certain things in order to cleave properly.

    You have a very visually appealing blog, Tessy!

  • Reply
    Tessy Onyia
    July 17, 2016 at 11:53 am

    Thank you Precious!

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