SIX SIMPLE WAYS TO AVOID MINOR QUARRELS IN MARRIAGES

Quarreling in marriage is a normal part of marriage when it involves two people from different backgrounds come to live together as husband and wife. Living with another person inevitably leads to differences in opinion, misunderstandings and sometimes hurt feelings.

There is a difference between healthy or productive quarrel, mean-spirited fighting that leads to more misunderstanding and negativity. People often don’t fight fairly because they don’t understand what they are really fighting about. Feelings of rejection or hurt are sometimes diverted.

Being aware of what it is that you are truly upset about can help you avoid fussing about issues that don’t really matter.

The following tips will provide some additional tools to help you keep quarrels at least to a healthy minimum in your relationship.

Be aware of the mood of your spouse

Some women become moody, irritable or emotional during certain periods in of their life especially during their menstrual cycle, pregnancy and when over stressed. Men also have times when they are less than rational. Some men become extra cranky if they haven’t eaten, haven’t had sex in a while or are experiencing stress at work. Try to avoid discussing sensitive issues at these times. And if your spouse tells you that you are not acting like yourself, instead of becoming offended, consider that he or she might be right at that particular point in time.

Know when to surrender

There really aren’t that many issues worth fighting over. Choose your battles wisely. Think back to your last fight, does it really still seem as urgent and compelling to you? Do you even remember it? If you don’t have to concede your values or your dignity, surrendering can bring much peace of mind for the both of you. If you know that something is very important to your spouse but doesn’t matter as much to you, give in graciously. It will show him or her that their happiness is important to you.

Try to express vulnerability and hurt instead of anger

Anger is a secondary emotion that usually stems from some other emotion such as hurt, embarrassment or disappointment. Your spouse is more likely to respond with empathy and understanding when you tell them why you are feeling angry instead of being moody and refusing to say exactly what the matter is which I know most ladies including myself usually do this. He or she would much rather try to see your side of things when you are hurt and vulnerable than when you are accusing and yelling out at him.

Honestly consider your spouse’s point

Often in a quarrel both partners are so concerned with being right rather than truly listening, they are simply waiting for the other person to stop talking in order to jump in with their own counterpoint. This leads to frustration on both sides and often results in insults or accusations. Try to stop yourself from responding to your spouse immediately and instead consider what he or she has said. Your spouse may have a very wise solution that you might miss if you are too focused on preparing your next point.Keep a sense of perspective and humor

Don’t take yourself too seriously. We often put too much emotional investment into quarrel most times that are really very unimportant. The fact that your husband leaves his dirty socks all over the floor or that your wife complains about your mother might indeed be irritating, but it is not worth ruining your marriage. If you can recognize that you are probably reenacting the same fights that couples have been having since time immemorial, you will be more likely to be able to laugh at yourselves and get over it.Don’t talk back at him when you are angry.

In a situation where you and your husband are arguing or quarreling over an issue, I will advise you the wife to keep quiet at that moment to avoid saying unnecessary words to him, I know it can be difficult and we all tend to get provoked easily but sure we can always work on our temperament.

Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing ordained by God we need not quarrel and fight over unnecessary things.Did I miss any point? Kindly use the comment box.

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60 Comments

Christina Lau

August 18, 2016 at 11:22 am

Definitely great tips to keep in mind! I love your detailed explanations. I think these apply to almost any relationship, married or not. Nice post!

Best,
Christina

Looks by Lau

Aliya Love

August 18, 2016 at 9:40 pm

Great advice love! They are all so true! My most successful tactic is to take it to God first by asking Him to reveal truth in the situation. A lot of times this shows me my own faults to correct before pointing the finger at my husband. Men are typically more receptive when we first start the conversation by owning up to our part in the mess, then talking about what we both can do differently in the future to avoid it from happening again. 🙂

XOXO, Aliya
http://www.aliyapatrice.com

Missy May

August 18, 2016 at 9:40 pm

I'm not married yet, but I will definitely keep this in mind. Will come in handy when I do get married by the grace of God. Thanks for sharing, Tessy.

http://missymayification.blogspot.co.uk

Sora Hwang

August 19, 2016 at 1:40 am

I'm nowhere near being married yet, but these are definitely great tips for any relationship! Communication really is key.

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Leah Behr

August 19, 2016 at 2:46 am

Great advice, and something I could definitely be better at! LOL

xx Leah / http://www.eatpraywearlove.com

Sisters and Glitters

August 19, 2016 at 4:17 am

Will definitely remember that! xo, Sophia from http://www.sistersandglitters.com

Chanel From Je M'appelle

August 19, 2016 at 4:17 am

Thanks for sharing! I'm not married but this will definitely help!

xo
Chanel | Je M'appelle Chanel

SONCAR

August 19, 2016 at 4:18 am

I think these apply to almost any relationship, married or not. Nice post!

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Brooke

August 19, 2016 at 4:18 am

This is great advice! I definitely agree with your point about not talking back when you are angry. I have definitely said things out of anger that I should not have. Thanks for all of the tips.
-Brooke | http://www.beautydecorandmore.com

favour moyse

August 19, 2016 at 6:53 am

Me too

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Emma Loves Fashion

August 19, 2016 at 10:06 am

Loving this post,
Emma
http://www.emmalovesfashion.com

Paola Lauretano

August 19, 2016 at 11:26 am

I love this post and your tips are always interesting darling!
Kisses, Paola.

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Marta

August 19, 2016 at 11:26 am

Great advice!
xx
https://la-veine.blogspot.pt/

TinyTiff

August 19, 2016 at 12:51 pm

Great post! I love the surrender part but all the tips are so true! Thank you for sharing! Blessings to you

Tiff
http://www.dashoffashandfinance.com

Aida Perkumaitė

August 19, 2016 at 12:52 pm

Loving this post!

xx
Aida
http://www.espritdemode.blogspot.com

Style For Mankind

August 19, 2016 at 5:50 pm

Amazing post! Have a great weekend. 🙂

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Straight A Style

August 19, 2016 at 5:50 pm

Quarrels are definitely natural in marriage, but these are great tips to avoid unnecessary ones and walk in respect for your spouse when they do come up.

Amy Ann
Straight A Style

Bubu Green

August 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Great post, Tess. My motto is "Never speak when angry. The argument will pass anyway but the hurt from what's been said will forever remain". http://www.bubusboulevard.com

Jacquard Flower

August 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Great post, thanks for the tips! Gemma x
http://www.jacquardflower.uk

Miss LovelyAttitude

August 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

great tips, so right with all of them 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/c/MissLovelyAttitude
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Jalisa G

August 20, 2016 at 5:47 am

This is such a great post, filled with lots of great points and wisdom that everyone can take away from, whether living with a spouse, room-mate, or parents. My husband and I have our fair share of disagreements and we've both grown and matured in the way we approach various situations. One very important thing is trying to remember that we're all a work in process and identifying our own shortcomings that can sometimes make things worse. I had a really bad habit of talking back out of anger and I would say mean and hurtful things and words are like scars, you just can't take them back, they penetrate. Now, I just stay quite, go into a different room and calm myself down. Thanks so much for sharing, beauty, and I hope you have a great weekend ahead!

XO,

Jalisa
http://www.thestylecontour.com

Taylor

August 20, 2016 at 5:47 am

Great post!
Thanks for sharing!
xo.
http://www.itswhatsin.com

Carina Vardie

August 20, 2016 at 5:47 am

Amazing tips that apply or should for all serious relationships. Thanks for sharing!

xo
http://www.carinavardie.com

cielofronteras

August 20, 2016 at 5:48 am

Great tips and indeed very helpful. Thanks for sharing =)

– Cielo
Mermaid in Heels

Courtney Lang

August 20, 2016 at 5:48 am

These are such great ideas! Keeping humor a part of the relationship is so important!

http://thecourtneydiaries.com

Airish

August 20, 2016 at 8:37 am

These are such wonderful tips, especially for those who are currently and are planning to get married already. 🙂 Hope to hear from you soon! x

Love, Airish
Gorgeous Glance
http://www.airishabella.blogspot.com

Francesca | francescasophia.co.uk

August 20, 2016 at 11:59 am

This is such an engaging post; I definitely find your point about expressing vulnerability more than anger helpful, I have such a firey temper!
francesca | francescasophia.co.uk xx