There is a difference between healthy or productive quarrel, mean-spirited fighting that leads to more misunderstanding and negativity. People often don’t fight fairly because they don’t understand what they are really fighting about. Feelings of rejection or hurt are sometimes diverted.
Being aware of what it is that you are truly upset about can help you avoid fussing about issues that don’t really matter.
The following tips will provide some additional tools to help you keep quarrels at least to a healthy minimum in your relationship.
Be aware of the mood of your spouse
Don’t take yourself too seriously. We often put too much emotional investment into quarrel most times that are really very unimportant. The fact that your husband leaves his dirty socks all over the floor or that your wife complains about your mother might indeed be irritating, but it is not worth ruining your marriage. If you can recognize that you are probably reenacting the same fights that couples have been having since time immemorial, you will be more likely to be able to laugh at yourselves and get over it.Don’t talk back at him when you are angry.
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